How Job Searching in a Pandemic Contributed to My Feelings of Imposter Syndrome

Written By Simone Dumas

Writing this from where I am professionally is extremely easy. Because I am writing what I have been thinking and feeling and experiencing for an entire year; in fact, I am writing this straight from an interview, in lieu of hearing back from another job, preparing for another interview in two days. 

The pandemic contributed to the slight burn out of education I am now feeling, but also has the biggest influence in the parameters I set in my current job search. I hate that I am leaving my school because I began working with this community in my first year teaching. I have seen this particular community from multiple lenses: as a teacher working with students and their families, as an administrator working more closely with stakeholders, and as a parent, voting on decisions that will affect my family. But one thing made it apparent that it was time to move on, and it was the disconnect in values I had with my organization, especially in the middle of a pandemic. 

I spoke a little bit about how I also have to consider and weigh the importance of certain areas in my life, particularly always thinking through how my choices in my career affect my children, my marriage and me. It’s hard and the constant battle between them absolutely contributes to my feelings of impostorism in the progression of my career. 

The impostor phenomenon, also called impostor syndrome, is the feeling of doubt and fear a person has in the workplace, despite having the credentials, ability, experiences, and education to perform and excel.  These feelings can be overwhelming among women, especially women of color. 

Here I am, roughly two semesters away from defending my dissertation, three months away from being certified to be a superintendent, yet I doubt myself every time I click on a district’s career page in search of a new position. I am stuck in between going after positions that match my certification and positions that are comfortable for me as I juggle my hats as a mother, wife and professional. Because of the pandemic, I now know that as a mother, I need a job that understands how important my children are to me. And, yes, of course my children were important to me prior to the pandemic, but it wasn’t until my husband and I were forced to make decisions about them going to school, who could and couldn’t come visit me while I was pregnant and me staying home so that I could safely breastfeed, that I truly understood how tough these decisions could be. 

The career track in educational leadership is extremely linear. If you want to be a school principal, you start as a teacher, then you get your Master’s, become certified to be a principal, become an instructional coach or dean of students, then an assistant principal, then a principal. Very rarely, does a person jump from one position up two positions. What’s been difficult for me in this career search is that I am looking for a position that allows me to put my children at the forefront, but as an assistant principal tracked for district leadership, it’s presenting challenges. And I haven’t been as confident and as assertive as I normally am, out of fear of being rejected for making those demands. Then, considering new roles outside of where I am tracked brings another bout of anxiousness because, what if I can’t live up to expectations? How hard will it be to get back on my career track once I venture to other opportunities? 

There are no real answers to most of the doubts that plague my mind; it’s a matter of belief in myself and my capabilities. For anyone, especially Black women, who are experiencing impostor syndrome, I wish I had the answers for us. But, know that you are not alone! 

Here are some publishings I’ve read that have allowed me to understand where my impostor feelings come from. 

Note: Most of these are only accessible with university or school credentials. Please shoot me a message if you are interested in reading any of the below and need access.

  • Arleo, E. K., Wagner-Schulman, M., McGinty, G., Salazar, G., & Mayr, N. A. (2021). Tackling impostor syndrome: A multidisciplinary approach. Clinical Imaging. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.clinimag.2020.12.035

  • Badawy, R. L., Gazdag, B. A., Bentley, J. R., & Brouer, R. L. (2018). Are all impostors created equal? Exploring gender differences in the impostor phenomenon-performance link. Personality and Individual Differences, 131, 156-163. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2018.04.044

  • Curtis, S. (2017). Black women’s intersectional complexities: The impact on leadership. Management in Education, 31(2), 94-102. https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0892020617696635

  • Du Plessis, A. E. (2017). Out-of-field teaching practices: What educational leaders need to know. Springer.

  • Harris, K. L. (2018). The impact of male gender dissonance on women’s potential eligibility for advancement to the position of high school principal [Doctoral dissertation, Brandman University]. Brandman University Repository.

  • Rittenhouse, J. R. (2019). Peeling back the mask: Exploring the relationship between the impostor phenomenon, authentic leadership, and emotional exhaustion [Doctoral dissertation, Lincoln Memorial University]. Lincoln Memorial University Repository



Simone Dumas
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Staying on Top of “It”