From my Mama…
“Your kids come first.” I can remember my mother saying those words to me after I had Simone’ and would hear them many more times thereafter. I was fourteen (just starting my freshman year in high school) and at the time I didn’t understand why she would say it so often.
I didn’t do much while I was in high school, I didn’t participate in sports or hang out with friends often, I went to school, came home and tended to Simone’-- and the times I did hang out with friends Simone’ went with me. Once I purchased my first car, I began to move around a little more (a lot more) but even then, wherever I went, Simone’ went with me; we was OUTSIDE! LOL. I can remember my mama saying, “Y’all move around too much, kids need to be home they pick up bad habits being around a bunch of people.” That was probably one of the things we would disagree about the most; she wanted Simone’ home and if you knew my mom, you know she didn’t play about Simone’. I was thirty when I had my second child and a year later I had my third and I no longer felt the need or want to be out “moving around.”
Nearly 30 years later, I can still hear my mama’s voice speaking to me and they never rang truer in my mind than they do today, even more now that I’m a “MiMi” ☺ Those same words that we often disagreed about, I find myself saying to Simone’ now that she’s a mother. As children and young adults, we spend so much time trying to understand why our parents say certain things to us only to grow up and say those very same words to our children.
Its been almost four years since my mother passed away. I realized how short life is and how it can be taken away from you in an instant. So, I try to spend as much time with my grandchildren as I can. I try to have conversations with my children and grandchildren that they will remember and cherish. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think to myself, “What would mama do? “ Or “What would mama say?” I take care of my children and care for my grandchildren the way my mother took care of me and cared for her grandchildren and I think back to all of the words that she said to me and I seek her guidance from those words.
If I could say one more thing to my mother it would be, “I was listening to you mama.” My understanding of her words are clearer now that she is no longer with us. My children have always been my priority, I make decisions based on how it will affect or benefit them because that is what my mother instilled in me ever since I was fourteen; “Your children come first.” It is my responsibility to ensure that they are given all the love, protection and support that I can provide in order for them to be successful in life. You never stop being a mother, even after you’re gone, your words and lessons and support will stay with your children who will then pass them on to their children and generations to come.
I wish every mother a Happy Mother’s Day. Spend time with your family, hug your children extra tight and tell them you love them!
I love you Simone’, congratulations on the launch of your new Blog! Happy Mother’s Day!
-Adrienne James
